Mice up $189

These bastards are showing a level of arrogance I have not often seen.  They are persistent and sneaky.  A couple of days ago the fan that blows air to the my car’s interior started making a loud clanking noise.  Yesterday I finally got it to the shop where they found the reason:  A chopped-up mouse inside the blower housing.  $189 later, it was cleaned up and I drove home fuming mad.  About a week ago the ‘Wheel of Misfortune’ caught another victim.  This was unusual because I left it unattended for a while; no new peanut butter on the can, no water at the bottom of the bucket.

This morning, I woke up with a plan to get it all rigged up again and put an end to the life of any mouse that was foolish enough to step on my property.  But there was a surprise – a live mouse sitting at the bottom of the empty, waterless bucket.  The can has absolutely no peanut butter on it – but the WOM is still bringing it’s wrath!  Do I let the mouse go?  Do I have any mercy in my blood?  No.  Not only did I not let it go, I went and got a couple of jugs of water and filled the bucket up.  I watched as the mouse slowly struggled for its’ life, growing weaker, dipping under the water, lungs slowly filling up.  I let out an evil bwaaahaahaaah laugh as the mouse gasped it’s last breath, gave it’s last feeble kick of the feet and sat motionless, floating in the water.  Then, a few bubbles spurted from its’ mouth and it sank to the bottom.  Dead.

These mice don’t know who they are dealing with

They don’t know the depths of my evil

I have cleared my plate of all other distractions

They are my only mission

They will feel my wrath

On my way to work this morning there was a new spring in my step, the air felt clean, the birds singing, the flowers blooming seemed slightly brighter.  Spring is a wonderful time.


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