These bastards are showing a level of arrogance I have not often seen. They are persistent and sneaky. A couple of days ago the fan that blows air to the my car’s interior started making a loud clanking noise. Yesterday I finally got it to the shop where they found the reason: A chopped-up mouse inside the blower housing. $189 later, it was cleaned up and I drove home fuming mad. About a week ago the ‘Wheel of Misfortune’ caught another victim. This was unusual because I left it unattended for a while; no new peanut butter on the can, no water at the bottom of the bucket.
This morning, I woke up with a plan to get it all rigged up again and put an end to the life of any mouse that was foolish enough to step on my property. But there was a surprise – a live mouse sitting at the bottom of the empty, waterless bucket. The can has absolutely no peanut butter on it – but the WOM is still bringing it’s wrath! Do I let the mouse go? Do I have any mercy in my blood? No. Not only did I not let it go, I went and got a couple of jugs of water and filled the bucket up. I watched as the mouse slowly struggled for its’ life, growing weaker, dipping under the water, lungs slowly filling up. I let out an evil bwaaahaahaaah laugh as the mouse gasped it’s last breath, gave it’s last feeble kick of the feet and sat motionless, floating in the water. Then, a few bubbles spurted from its’ mouth and it sank to the bottom. Dead.
These mice don’t know who they are dealing with
They don’t know the depths of my evil
I have cleared my plate of all other distractions
They are my only mission
They will feel my wrath
On my way to work this morning there was a new spring in my step, the air felt clean, the birds singing, the flowers blooming seemed slightly brighter. Spring is a wonderful time.